


(Without You) How I Disappear

by Capitol_Gee



Series: How An Angel Dies [5]
Category: Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album)
Genre: Death, Genderfluid Character, Grief/Mourning, M/M, im sorry, look its Sad Fic, some parts are cute, this is very long and very sad, told both in the present and the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-05-15 02:26:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5767759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capitol_Gee/pseuds/Capitol_Gee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And how can I pretend I never knew you? Like it was all a dream, no. I know I'll never forget the way I always felt with you beside me and how you loved me then."</p><p>Before and after Jet Star died</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> LOOK! It's Sad Fic! The first part of it anyway. I have no idea how long this will be, I just got tired of not having anyone but Fitz see it. Feel free to tell me if anything is wrong. Title from How I Disappear by My Chemical Romance; lyrics in the summary from Never Be the Same by Red.
> 
> Recommended listening: https://8tracks.com/emmalynnred/for-now-we-have-each-other

He was dead.

That was the only thing Pony could say for sure, that he was dead, sprawled out on the hood of his own car like some kind of angel. Pony didn’t see it happen, the van had pulled up a second too late, but he saw enough. Even as he lept out of the van, pushing the Girl towards the open door and shooting at anything clad in white, he couldn’t keep his eyes off the body. It was a good thing he was wearing his helmet.

He climbed back into the van a minute later, shutting the door behind him and slumping into one of the few seats, letting out a breath. The van pulled forward with a lurch that sent the Girl stumbling forward - why wasn’t she sitting down? - into Pony’s leg. He blinked at her for a moment, not that she could tell under his helmet, and pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her. He couldn’t let her get hurt. Not now. She squirmed in his grasp, trying to get down. He knew what she was doing, but he just held her tighter. “Let me down,” she gasped, “We can’t leave them!”

She looked up at Pony, expecting an answer he didn’t want to give, her brown eyes wide and _oh god are those tears? no no please don’t cry_. He pushed her hair out of her face, not that it did much to stop the wild curls, and said, “There’s nothing we can do...”

“No!” she screamed, pounding at his chest. She _was_ crying now, and Pony didn’t know what to do about it. He wasn’t the best with kids, at least not when they were like this. He knew he couldn’t let her go, she would just try to jump out of the van and get herself run over or something, but he didn’t know what he could do with her here either. So he did all he could think of, and let her cry.

Pony didn’t let himself fall apart until they were back, until he’d passed the Girl off to Dr. D and shed his jacket and disappeared into their room - no, it was just his now, there was no one to share it with anymore. And that thought was the one that broke him. He flopped down onto ~~their~~ his bed, throwing his helmet into the corner of the room, and _cried._

 

_**Before** _

When they first met, Pony hated him.

Maybe ‘hated’ wasn’t the right word. Pony didn’t want to like him. There wasn’t any reason for it, but he did. There was no reason he _shouldn’t_ like him, there was nothing wrong with him or anything. Pony was just tired of people. People and their noseyness and loudness and literally everything about them just pissed him off. Most people knew to leave him alone, in fact some of them just avoided him. If he was honest, that irked him too. And someone new showing up meant one person to avoid him and treat him like he would explode at any moment. He hated it.

So it was understandable when he thought the new guy would be like that too - he was friends with Ghoul, after all, and while Ghoul meant well, he could be downright annoying on the best of days.

Pony was greatly surprised when he actually got to _know_ the “new guy” (he had a name, Pony refused to use it). He was...nice. And not the overly nice kind of niceness Pony had gotten used to from the others, he was genuinely kind. It wasn’t because he felt like he had to or because he didn’t want people to dislike him. He just...

He was nice.

And what was different, what _really_ caught Pony off-guard, was that his niceness extended to Pony.

The first time he turned to Pony with a smile and said, “What do you think?” about something that Pony couldn’t even remember, Pony blinked for a minute and said, “What?”

And he didn’t stop either. It was _weird_. No one had been this genuinely interested in what he thought, what he had to say, in so long that it almost scared him at first.

Another thing that scared him was that he liked it.

 

_**Now** _

It didn’t really register that he was dead until a couple days later, when Pony turned to talk to him, to say something about the Girl, or to comment on one of the Doc’s music choices, and he was startled to find him not by his side. He stopped, his brain not quite caught up with his eyes, until it finally did register and he felt the tears coming again. He stopped them this time though, blinking them away before they could fall. He didn’t want anyone to notice, not this time.

He could tell they were acting different, and part of it was because of the Girl; she was so young and they didn’t know if she understood what was going on (Pony was pretty sure she did understand, she was smarter than they thought she was), but part of the reason was him. He wasn’t stupid. He knew they didn’t want to upset him further, but they should really know by now that treating him like glass wasn’t going to make him feel any better. It almost made it worse.

Nothing could stop him feeling bad because Jet was- he was gone, and they couldn’t do anything about it. Not that Pony didn’t want to. He wanted so much to march back into that building and-

Well. He didn’t really know what he would do. Something, though. He would definitely do something.

Instead of thinking about it more, he left the room entirely. He needed an escape, and the desert was perfect for that. He didn’t go far, just far enough that he wouldn’t be bothered. The sad part of living in the desert was that there wasn’t really any place for him to hide without someone finding him eventually. But he would be alone for a while.

He huddled on the ground, drawing his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Jet was supposed to live, to come back with the Girl and the others, and they were supposed to be happy. Together.

 

_**Before** _

Pony knew he should get up, but there was no point.

Sand had clogged up his skates (stupid, really, just stupid), and he’d sat down to clean them but didn’t really want to so now he was just laying on the ground on the side of the road. Not his brightest idea, but no one ever said he was smart. Besides, it was almost comfortable down here. The sand was actually pretty comfortable, once you got over how incredibly hot it was, and if he closed his eyes he could try to ignore the sun. Really, it wasn’t not that bad.

Of course his peace didn’t last. It never did.

At first he thought the car would just drive past him. Hopefully the driver wouldn’t even see him. But then he heard it slowing down - and he was too lazy, or too tired, or too _something_ to look up and see who it was - until it finally stopped. Pony groaned a little, but still didn’t move. Moving was overrated, he decided.

“Um. What are you doing?”

Great. It had to be him. Pony couldn’t really call him the new guy anymore, he’d been out here long enough, but he still didn’t want to use his name (it was a ridiculous name anyway. Not that Pony’s own wasn’t, but saying _Jet Star_ just sounded weird). Pony still didn’t move, hoping he’d _just go away_. But _no_ , he had to get out of the stupid car and walk over. Where had all Pony’s luck gone?

Oh right. He never had any in the first place.

“Hey are you all right?”

Pony sighed. “No. Go away.”

“How about I don’t?”

Pony groaned again and pushed himself up so he was sitting. He blinked a few times - had it been that bright out earlier? - and glared up at him. Another question - why was he so tall? “Please.”

He shook his head, sitting down a few feet away. “Don’t really want to.”

Now that was something he couldn’t believe. No one actually _wanted_ to spend longer than ten minutes with him, not really. It just wasn’t a thing people did. He knew most couldn’t stand being around for that long anyway. Pony narrowed his eyes at him, staring him down in an attempt to figure out just what he wanted, anyway. He just sat there, returning Pony’s stare, but it didn’t seem like it was for the same purpose.

After a long couple of minutes, he smiled, “Well?”

Pony glared. “Well what?”

“I’ll give you a ride. To wherever.” He shrugged, and Pony’s stare became more incredulous than searching.

“ _What?_ ” He wasn’t serious. He couldn’t be serious. There was no way he could be serious about that. But then, he was still sitting there. Most people would have gotten up and left by now, annoyed by him. But he was still there. That was enough to at least give him a chance. At least. He sighed. “Fine. Thanks.”

Jet Star stood up, holding out a hand to help Pony. “No problem. You look like you need it. A ride, I mean.”

He took the hand offered, allowing Jet to pull him up. “Yeah. Thanks.”


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you know before you read this: the "Now" sections are only a few days apart, while the "before" sections sometimes have months in between them.
> 
> Also, I'm shooting for three chapter with this, but I have no idea if it's actually gonna work that way.

Pony decided he didn’t like being alone. Before, he had been fine with it, or he’d thought he was. But it turned out he hated being alone. He just couldn’t do it. And it wasn’t like there was no one else around, there were always people around. He didn’t know how to explain it, really. He felt empty.

He tried not to make it a big deal. There was enough to worry about without him adding to the problem. Really, he didn’t need anyone worrying about him. Not when there was so much that was more important. _Honestly._

It didn’t matter if he _wanted_ someone to notice how he felt. He knew no one would, not when the only person who really had was _dead._

That was actually a pretty depressing thought. Well, it fit his mood. Not to mention it was true.

 

_**Before** _

Part of him hated to say he was getting used to this guy - Jet Star. He was nice, he was funny, and he had a habit of seeking Pony out and talking to him. It was kind of sweet, if he was being honest. And if he wasn’t, he would still admit that he liked having someone paying attention to him. It was a nice feeling, one he’d like to keep if he could.

It wasn’t like Pony could be around him all the time, though, they were both busy. That didn’t mean that Pony didn’t take every opportunity he could to talk to him, though. Every opportunity.

And no one could prove it if some of those opportunities were made up.

This time his reason was real, though. He was actually doing his job. “For once,” as Doc would say. Which was wrong - Pony did his job plenty of times. It just didn’t seem like he did.

He skated up to the diner the “Fab Four” - not his words, _really_ \- chose to inhabit, knocking on the glass door before pushing it open. “You’ve got mail!” he called, drawing the attention of Ghoul and the Girl - a tiny kid that they had picked up a few months ago. The Girl waved, and Pony grinned at her. He liked the kid. She was a sweet girl, and thought he was hilarious. As she should.

Ghoul stood up, calling for the others. “Whatchya got for us?” he asked, coming over to where Pony stood.

Pony braced himself against the nearest table, digging around in the leather bag dangling from his shoulder as the other three ambled in. “Doc sent this over for you guys,” he said, pulling a clumpy, badly-wrapped package from the bag and tossed it gently on the table. “He wouldn’t tell me what’s in it, but he said if I saw something I like I can have it so.” He shrugged. “Have at it.”

Ghoul grabbed it as the others crowded around, Kobra sliding into the booth and the Girl pushing her way to the front of the little cluster so she could see. Ghoul ripped open the package, spilling its contents onto the table.

Tapes.

Dozens of tapes slid onto the table, a CD or two among them. But mostly tapes. The group of them gaped at the collection for a minute before Poison reached around Ghoul and grabbed one. “How did he get all these?”

Pony shrugged. “I have no idea.” he said as he snatched a tape up and squinted at the label written in sloppy print.

“Thank him for us, will you?” Poison mumbled. Pony just nodded, passing the tape in his hand to the Girl.

Suddenly, as he reached for another tape, Pony felt a heavy hand settle on his back, a steadying hand (for someone else, not Pony himself). He turned to see Jet Star at his side, leaning over to grab a tape off the table. He smiled to himself, and said nothing.

 

_**Now** _

Pony didn’t like sleeping alone. It just seemed odd, now, after he'd gotten so used to having Jet always there with him. Or, well, almost always. There were times of separation, of course there were. But they were bearable when Pony knew Jet was safe. Now, completely without him, Pony just felt lost. And he couldn’t sleep. When he did manage to fall asleep, he had dreams, dreams of watching Jet die over and over again until he woke up in the middle of the night with his heart pounding and tears in his eyes. Most nights, it was easier not to sleep at all.

Tonight, he was sitting outside, in one of those broken-down deck chairs that had been sitting out there since the beginning of time, it seemed. He wanted to sleep, he was exhausted, but he didn’t want the nightmares. He couldn’t stand those nightmares.

It was easier to sit alone in the dark, where no one could bother him, nightmare or no, and try not to cry.

Because if Jet was there, Pony wouldn’t feel so alone.

 

_**Before** _

Pony wasn’t sure how he ended up spending time at the diner. It had just sort of happened, he guessed. It wasn’t bad, hanging out with the “Fab Four”. They were...fun. And the Girl was adorable. That was a plus. And...

And Jet Star was there.

That was a plus too.

It was late, and Pony should have left hours ago, but he got caught up in the conversation (Party Poison sure could talk), and lost track of time (at least, that’s what he would tell Doc), and he didn’t really _want_ to leave. Which was strange. But he would take it.

Jet Star had disappeared at some point. Pony didn’t notice at the time, but he noticed when he moved to lean against him and he wasn’t there. Party Poison must have figured out what his confused look meant, because she just laughed and pointed outside. “He’s out there,” she said, “sometimes we’re too loud for him.” Sure enough, when Pony looked around the cluster of people, he could see Jet sitting on an old beat-up deck chair. looking at nothing in particular. He looked peaceful. Pony hated to be the one to break that peace, but he was going to do it anyway.

He nodded his thanks to Poison - who just smirked, what was with her? - and headed out to join Jet. He tried to be quiet, he really did, but he slipped, thanks to his skates, and had to struggle to regain his balance.

Once he was finally back upright again, he turned to Jet, who was now looking at him with a slight smile on his face. “What are you doing out here?” He kept his voice low; he didn’t want to bother Jet too much.

Jet’s answer was slow in coming. He waved a hand in the direction of the door, saying, “Needed time away from them.”

That was what Poison had said, but Pony just nodded a little, saying “Yeah” in agreement and surprised to find that he was whispering.

Feeling awkward because he was standing still, Pony sank into the other lawn chair, propping his chin on his hands and leaning forward. He understood the appeal of this; it was quiet and nice, and the dark helped. It was calm. Pony wasn’t a calm person, but Jet was, so he could understand. Sort of. “I can see why you like it out here,” he said, still quiet. “It’s peaceful.”

He looked over at Jet, watching him as he looked out into the desert. “Calmer than in there,” Jet said, shaking his head. “Sometimes I wonder how I ended up out here.”

How did anyone end up out here? Pony looked away from Jet, to his hands, which were now in his lap. “I’m glad you did.” He was almost whispering again. He didn’t bother trying to speak up. “It... It was a good thing.”

“Yeah?” Jet sounded skeptical, like he wasn’t expecting that answer.

“Definitely.” Pony looked up, meeting Jet’s eyes, and found himself unable to look away. They didn’t say anything. Pony looked down as Jet closed his eyes, sighing. Jet leaned towards him, opening his eyes again. “Is it okay if I...”

Pony could feel his heart threatening to beat out of his chest. He rolled his eyes. “Get over here you idiot.” he said, and surprised himself when he grabbed Jet’s jacket, pulling him closer, and kissed him.

It was probably the best decision he’d ever made.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! Thanks for sticking around, I know I'm not the best at writing quickly! This has been a long (seven months!!) journey, and I'm glad you guys got to come on it too. I'm so excited to see your reactions, so please leave comments!  
> I am planning a sort of prequel, an origin story type thing for Cherri Cola and Show Pony, which will be called "The Black Horse and the Cherry Tree". So look out for that! Also, a good friend of mine will be writing an epilogue to this in the near future.
> 
> Note: I headcanon Cherri as genderfluid, which is why the pronouns used for them change throughout the chapter.

It took a week before Cherri came to visit.

It was more of a checkup, really, making sure Pony was okay. Pony was surprised it took as long as it had; Cherri was the sort of sibling to worry constantly about Pony even when nothing was wrong. The fact that Cherri waited a week when something _was_ wrong was a little strange. Then again, Cherri had lost someone too. Pony kept forgetting that.

Cherri didn't even call. Pony just looked up and there she was, wearing a gray skirt Poy had never seen before and looking at him like she was afraid. Afraid for him, Pony realized. He hadn’t seen Cherri look like that in years.

When he tried to smile and said “Hey,” very quietly, Cherri sighed and plopped into the floor next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. Pony was sitting cross-legged, holding Jet’s helmet — which he'd left behind, the idiot — in his hands.

They sat in silence for a while.

“I'm sorry.” Cherri said after a minute.

Pony sniffled a little, hating the way he seemed like a little kid when he did. “I miss him.”

Cherri put her arms around him, pulling him closer to her. “I know,” she whispered. Pony leaned into her and started crying again. He hadn’t let himself cry, really cry, since the night it happened. He hadn’t felt like he could, he hadn’t wanted to make people worry more than they had to. But he knew Cherri would always worry more than she had to - it was her _job_ according to her. She’d been worrying about him since they were kids.

“It’ll be okay,” she said now, rubbing his back. “Someday.”

Pony wished someday would come quicker. He didn't know how much more pain and missing Jet he could take. It wasn't that Jet was his whole world — it had never been like that. It was that Jet had _shown_ him that the world could accept him, that it could _become_ his world. He had _tried_ , he had kept coming back and never, _ever_ , gave up on Pony.

Pony missed that. He missed Jet. He wanted him to be there by his side, not Cherri. He wanted Jet back.

He knew he couldn't have what he wanted.

 

_**Before** _

Things were changing.

Life in the desert had become different sometime in the last two or three months, and no one - because it wasn’t just Pony who noticed it - knew why. It didn’t matter to most, but Pony was curious.

Then of course there was the obvious change, at least for Pony. It was obvious for him, but then, it affected him the most. And it made him happy.

It had been a few months. A few months since the kiss in the dark. A few months since Pony had realized that friendship with Jet Star would be impossible — because they both wanted something else. A few months before the term “my boyfriend” became a part of Pony’s daily vocabulary. And he couldn't be happier.

Well. He could be living someplace that wasn't the middle of the desert. But other than that.

And he had Cherri too — though they didn't visit as often as Pony would have liked. Sometimes he wished the two of them were as close as they were when they first came to the desert, but he knew Cherri hadn’t been happy then. And Cherri had always been the one person whose happiness Pony cared about. He didn’t know of any siblings who were closer than they were, except maybe Kobra and Poison.

Now Pony was standing outside the radio station, bouncing a little bit, a big grin on his face. Cherri had radioed earlier saying that he was coming over and that Pony had better be there waiting “or else”.

Pony loved his twin.

His grin only grew when the car pulled up and Cherri hopped out, immediately coming over and wrapping Pony in a hug. “Hey, little brother.” he said with a laugh.

Pony hugged him back tightly. “I missed you too,” he said. “How's the shop?” It was no fault of their own that they didn't get to see each other often. Tommy’s shop was so far from Doc’s station, and Pony went out that way only rarely, so their visits were few and far between. Sadly.

They headed into the station, Cherri yelling a “HELLO” to Doc, who shot him a glare. Pony couldn't help but laugh. He knew Doc missed Cherri, he just would never admit it.

He had been the first to take Pony and Cherri in when they first left the City, just a couple of teenagers with no idea what they were doing. He gave them shelter, tried to teach them. He was the one who came up with the idea of Pony’s mail route, and the one who secured Cherri’s job with Tommy. He was like a father to them. Sort of.

Hanging around Cherri again was great. Pony never quite realized how much he missed him until they were together again. It just felt right, for them to be constantly around each other, and when they had to go their separate ways, it hurt a little.

They sat on the old, sagging couch far enough away from Doc that they wouldn't bother his broadcast. “So,” Cherri said, nudging Pony in the leg, “what's new?” His smirk said that he didn't even need to ask the question.

Pony rolled his eyes. “Oh, nothing really. Just the usual...”

Cherri huffed and leaned forward, smacking Pony on the arm. “Come on, man. I know what you're not telling me.”

Pony looked at him with narrowed eyes. “How do you know?” He asked, trying to figure it all out. He knew what Cherri meant, of course, there wasn't much in his life Cherri could be referring to.

“Kobra Kid.” Cherri said, “He told me.” He leaned back with a grin. “I'm so happy for you, little brother.”

Now Pony smacked Cherri, rolling his eyes again. “You're only like, fifteen minutes older than me,” he protested.

“It’s enough to make me older!” Cherri retorted, laughing, and Pony really, really loved his twin.

Best sibling ever.

 

_**Now** _

Cherri stuck around all day. They both needed it, really, needed to know that there was someone around who knew how they felt. Or at least, Pony did. He could only assume Cherri did too.

They didn't talk about _it_. Cherri wasn't really one to spill her feelings like that; that was all Pony. He couldn't help it, most of the time. But Pony didn't either. Not now. It was too soon, too close, still breaking his heart into little pieces every time he thought about it. So the just didn't bring it up at all. They couldn't pretend everything was normal, but they could be there for each other.

In the end, they spent most of the day sitting in one of the booths, reading some, talking a little, but mostly just thinking. And trying not to cry, in Pony’s case. The tears wouldn't stop, now that he had opened up, but he didn't want to cry. He wanted to be strong. He wanted to just get through this, but he couldn't.

Not when he couldn't even look at the door of his room anymore. Not when he stopped wearing blue. Not when even the littlest things that reminded him of Jet hurt.

Pony could try pretend to be normal, but he had no chance with his own mind.

 

_**Before** _

There was a raid.

Pony didn't know how it all happened, how they were able to find the station — but they did. Better Living found them.

Luckily, they got some warning, so Pony and Doc were able to pack up and try to get out of there before anything happened.

Try was the word to note there.

Pony really shouldn't have been surprised that nothing went to plan. What did, in his life?

Of course, they didn't quite get away. Of course, there was a firefight. Of course. Luckily, they had the van ready to go, but as they were trying to get to it, Pony realized that they didn't have anywhere to go. But he didn't give it anymore thought until they and everything they needed were safely in the van and driving away. Then he turned to Doc and said, “Where are we gonna go?”

That made Doc pause. “I hadn't thought of that.” They both knew why. As far as they had known, before, there was no reason for them to have a backup. Sure, they knew of places that could house them for short amounts of time, but not one that they could live in permanently. No one they knew had enough room for them, anyway. Except maybe...

“What about the Four?”

Doc turned and gave him a look that said he was somewhere between wondering why on earth Pony had said that and actually considering it. To most, it would simply look like the first. “That's a good idea.” he said finally, and Pony smiled. “You call up Jet, let ‘em know we're comin’.” Pony nodded, turning aside to pull out his radio.

The call was quick, ending with a, “yeah, we're on the day then. See you in a bit.” Pony felt a little odd, like there should have been something else there too, but he didn't think too hard about it. “They have space for us,” he told the Doc, who nodded.

Once they'd made sure there was no one trailing them, the trip to the diner was short. Which was good for Pony; he didn't feel like he could stay in the van much longer. He jumped out as soon as it came to a stop, and he should have been less surprised than he was to find that Jet Star was outside waiting.

He couldn't help the grin that spread over his face at the sight of him and skated over, letting himself be wrapped in Jet’s arms for one of the warm hugs he was so fond of and that Jet loved to give. Pony felt safe in Jet’s arms, and it wasn't till he felt himself calming down that he realized he was still anxious from the raid. He found himself staying in Jet’s arms for longer than usual, his breathing slowing down, his eyes squeezed tight. Jet rubbed his back, mumbling something that Pony couldn't quite understand.

When Pony pulled back, Jet looked him in the eye and said, “Are you okay?” his face worried.

Pony nodded, smiling. “Yeah. Just...just a little shaken up.” Jet nodded, and waved at D behind Pony.

“Come on,” he said, turning towards the door. He let his hand fall from Pony’s shoulder into his hand as they walked inside.

 

_**Now** _

Pony knew he should have been used to the nightmares. They were so frequent, and always the same. Watching Jet die, over and over, in all the detail he hadn't seen the first time.

He had taken to just not sleeping at all. It was the only course of action that made sense. No sleep equals no nightmares. Who cared that he was tired later?

Cherri stayed up with him, and Pony didn't need to ask why. He knew this wasn't easy for him, either. The only thing Pony could say was, “At least you weren't there.”

Cherri nodded, wrapped his arm around Pony, and said. “I know. But at least you got to say goodbye.”

 

_**Before** _

D’s broadcast was just wrapping up when the Four came back, stumbling through the door all at once. Poison pointed Jet at a seat, physically moving him and pushing him down into the booth. That alone was enough to worry Pony. Then he noticed that the Girl wasn't with them.

He looked from Jet, _who was bleeding from his eye_ , to Poison, then to Kobra. “What happened.” It wasn't really a question.

Poison sighed, slumping into the seat across from Jet, and Pony knew that whatever had happened, she blamed herself. “We were attacked.” she said, “Korse. And some Dracs.”

“They took the Girl.” Fun Ghoul said, their voice sounding like they'd been breathing in sand for a while. “We couldn't do anything. They just took her.”

Oh. That... That made sense. Pony looked between Poison and Ghoul now, before finally motioning to Jet. “And, uh, what happened there?”

Poison glanced over at Jet, sighing. “In the fight- what was it, a bottle?”

Jet nodded. “Yeah, got hit with a bottle or something. Can't really... Can't see out of this eye.” He motioned to the injured eye, and Pony skated closer.

“I'm gonna take a look at it, k?” he mumbled to Jet, leaning a little closer. Jet nodded jerkily, and made a pained face.

It didn't take long for Pony to make sense of the wound — it looked like some glass had cut into Jet’s eye, and he probably wouldn't be able to see out of it again. Pony cleaned it as best he could, and found an eyepatch from one of the boxes he kept in their room. “I can't do much else,” he said, “I don't have that training.”

“It’s fine,” Jet said, blinking up at Pony with his good eye. “Thank you.” And he leaned up and kissed Pony quickly.

Kobra and Ghoul took that as their cue to crowd into the booth too, Ghoul pushing Pony and Jet into the wall. When Pony glared at them, they just stuck out their tongue at him. Pony rolled his eyes — he got along better with Ghoul now, but it still wasn't the best of friendships, unless there was a prank to be pulled.

“So what do we do?” Kobra asked, his face worried and tense. Pony couldn't blame him. The Girl — she was important. They couldn't lose her.

“We have to go after her.” Poison said.

The others seemed to have forgotten that Pony was there, but Jet grabbed his hand under the table and squeezed it. Pony leaned into him, taking deep breaths. He could have lost Jet today, and he didn't even know it. He didn't want to come that close again, but he knew that getting the Girl back was something they needed to do.

So they planned. It wasn't the best plan, but how could it be? This was a rescue mission where they knew hardly anything about the situation. There was no way to make the plan better.

Pony had to drag Jet to bed hours later, telling him he needed to sleep if he wanted to heal, if he wanted to be of any use. He really just wanted Jet to be there, with him, to remind him that he was really all right, in spite of the eye. And he thought that Jet might want the same thing.

Pony thought later that he might have done something different if he had known it would be their last night together.

 

_**Now** _

Pony woke up to the sound of lasers. Specifically, raygun lasers.

At first, he thought he was still dreaming, but he looked over at Cherri and knew it was real.

It was only a moment later that the twins were in their feet, heading for the door.

The firefight was still a little ways off, but close enough that they could run to it. Which, of course, was what they did. It was going badly. It was a whole gang of Dracs against two ‘joys, just kids by the looks of them. Cherri got in front of the kids, started shooting. Pony jumped in next to him, defending those kids like his life depended on it and trying not to think about how maybe he could save them, save them to make up for how he hadn't saved Jet.

He got a little distracted by that thought. He didn't see the Drac shooting at him. He felt the impact, right in his chest, jerking his shoulders back and knocking him down. A gasp of surprise bubbled up in his throat, but it never reached the open air.

He didn't hear the anguished cry ripping from his twin's throat as he fell backwards. He didn't feel the ground when his back struck it, or hear the dull thud his body made when colliding with the packed sand. He didn't see, hear, or even smell Cherri lashing out at the remaining Dracs, getting rid of them all. He didn't see Cherri kneeling down next to his body. He didn't hear his twin sobbing next to him. He didn't feel anything, anymore.


End file.
